911

When I check my email remotely, courtesy of Rogers Yahoo, I also get a dose of what is happening in the world today-  most often in the world of glam or sports and but also in the world of real estate, nutrition, health or general human interest. It is indicative of the times that these news "bites" are the way many people (NOT ME, of course) get their news - one paragraph articles always with catchy pictures and often gossipy type news.  About once a week there is an article with the heading "5 Foods that will make you ( insert new word(s) each week from list below):
Fat, Skinny, Smarter, Sexier, Rich, Famous, Into an Alien, etc.  I always read those cause you never know, right?

Here is a sampling of the "news" in the last few days: "Kate Middleton plays volleyball wearing wedges for charity" (first off, isn't that a dangling something or other but playing volleyball in heels- that's an unfair advantage-makes her taller); "Mexican gun lord gunned down by clowns" (not even funny); "Home Inspired by Fortress of Solitude", (if only superman came with it); "Celeb Baby Name Trends" (apparently Blue and Apple are now out- who knew?); and two of my favourites -  "Arnold Loves Pasta":

looks like eating "the pasta" is turning Arnie into an alien

This article is about a clearly carbbed out Arnold Schwarzenegger and how much he much with he loves pasta and opens with the cutesy line " I'll be back...... for more pasta!" Hilarious!

and

"Man calls 911 to investigate stolen jello". "An employee at the Wakefern Food Corp warehouse called police to investigate the theft of his Jello from the break room according to CBS news." Yes this is a news item. Apparently the 39 year old was mad because his food had been stolen once before. Oh well then, that makes sense.

On the related theme it was reported that there was a flood of 911 calls in Connecticut in August when a cable outage interrupted the drama Breaking Bad (ya and???  I can so get behind this one)! Apparently police had to post on its Facebook page for residents to stop calling its emergency lines with cable complaints. Do you mind- this was emergency!

And finally there are these newsy tidbits-  Which of these two women is more insane? 1. Police in New Hampshire arrested woman this summer after she called 911 to ask for a pen"...(apparently she had been calling many times before - to ask for a pencil, perchance?) or 2. "Police arrested a New Hampshire woman after she reported a medical emergency- then asked for help ordering Chinese food when firefighters arrived". How tough I can it be to order Chinese food, even in New Hampshire?